


Maka'u

by mustachey5



Series: Nalu Pumehana [4]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-Break Up, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 19:39:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3949171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mustachey5/pseuds/mustachey5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Fear) Steve needs some breathing space to clear his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maka'u

**Author's Note:**

> Flashbacks are in itallic :)

Stell dich vor meine Mitte.

Leg dich in jede Figur.

Werf dich in jeden meiner Schritte.

Ich tanz' für dich, wohin du willst.

Ich geh' rüber ans Fenster

um zu sehen ob, die Sonne noch scheint.

Hab' so oft, bei schwerem Gewitter

in deine Hände geweint.

(Imagine yourself in my position

Put yourself in every character

Throw yourself into every step

I'll dance for you, wherever you want

I go over to the window

To see whether the sun's still shining

During terrible storms, I've often cried in your hands )

.

.

He was watching her. He couldn't stop it, he felt borderline creepy with the way he constantly stared at her. She was just so close, so painfully close and still firmly out of his reach because of his own stupid decision. He couldn't focus at the office, unable to focus on the cases because he was forever watching her, trying to check she was okay. To scared to actually ask her, knowing he would only be ignored. He even went on reserve training and to see Catherine, but still the only person he thought of was her.

He knew his pain was all self inflicted but it didn't make him any happier. He would change it all in a heart beat if he could, only he was far to scared that he had really pushed her too far and she wouldn't take him back. It was his greatest fear. That she would completely reject him and leave him the way everyone else had. He watched from a distance because it was all he could do. To scared to reach out and touch, yet so desperate for her attention. She had retracted within herself. The easy going, fun loving rookie was long gone. She spent no longer than necessary in the office and avoided being alone with him. She no longer joked with them, no longer watched CHiPs in the break room. He hated what he'd inflicted on himself but he hated what he'd done to her more. She deserved better - and wasn't that part of the reason why he'd ended it in the first place?

* * *

 

Wie soll ein Mensch das ertragen?

Dich alle Tage zu sehen,

ohne es einmal zu wagen,

dir in die Augen zu sehen.

(How can someone bear it?

Seeing you everyday

Without ever daring

To look you in the eye)

.

.

He fled. He knew it was cowardly, but he couldn't keep it up any longer. He loved her, and he had completely messed it up. And the worst part? He thought it was seeing the heart broken look on her face every time he and Lori appeared in the office together. He was wrong. As usual. It was seeing her continuing with her life, getting over him while he was still stuck in his bubble of regret, wanting to take it all back, to have her back in his arms again. So he ran, Wo Fat was supposedly in Japan. A nice 3854 miles from Honolulu. He left a note, he couldn't explain in to any of them face to face, not without giving it away.

He sat in the transport vehicle, surrounded by Interpol as they headed to Wo Fat's suspected location. He had hoped the distance would allow him to finally focus, yet she still haunted his thoughts, constantly at the back of his mind no matter what he did. He sighed as he checked his gun, he had been desperately avoiding it but this "trip" had only proved the point further. When he got back, they needed to talk. He was fed up of wanting her and not being able to have her. He couldn't keep pretending he was over her. That nothing happened between them, when that was the one relationship that meant everything to him.

* * *

 

Könnt ich einen einzigen Tag nur

in meinem Leben dir gefallen

um dann ein einziges Mal nur

in deine Arme zu fallen.

(If I could only make you happy

for a single day in my life

and then be able to lie

just one time in your arms)

_._

_._

_"You are an idiot Steven." Kono stormed into his house, fuming. He gently pushed the door closed behind himself, before turning back to face her, still a little clueless as to why she was so pissed at him._

_"It's just..." He began, stepping forward in an attempt to placate her._

_"A broken arm, yes we've established that already." She spat at him._

_"It wasn't intentional, the rock gave way and I slipped, I don't get why this is my fault?" He responded, trying to explain himself. She simply fixed him with a steely glare that made him flinch slightly._

_"Kono, baby.."_

_"Don't call me baby." Steve dropped his arms slightly when he noticed the slightest wobble of her chin. Her unusually emotional behaviour had completely thrown him and he was frankly a little scared at what she might do._

_"Kono..." He began as he noticed the angry composure beginning to break as she took in a shaky breath._

_"What's going o.."_

_"I'm going home." She said before he could finish and moved to shove past him but he caught her with his non broken arm._

_"Not until you tell me what is going on. " He pulled her in front of him so he could look her in the eyes but she avoided his gaze as her eyes misted up._

_"Kono?" He pleaded_

_"Aunt Mele" She whispered as the tears bubbled over and Steve finally understood. He gently pulled her to his chest as she wrapped her arms around him, giving her the comfort she needed._

_"I'm so sorry" He whispered into her hair as she hugged him, the tears falling silently down her cheeks and soaking into his t-shirt._

_"I just.. I wish there was something we could do.." She mumbled into his chest as she turned her face to look at him, the look of helplessness in her eyes breaking Steve's heart._

_"I'm sorry" He said again as he brushed away the tears with his calloused thumbs, unable to think of anything else to say to her and pulled her back into his arms, dropping kisses in her hair, mumbling loving words, cradling her as she cried._


End file.
